Lucky Wren

What I See, & How I See It

SOMETHING

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broken daisy

I want to go back, back to the beginning.
I’m disappointed with this ending.
I can’t say what I wanted.
But this, this is far from it.
Of all the things I expected.
Of all the conditions I planned in my head.
It was all for nothing,
It was all for nothing.

I never asked too many questions.
I did my best to fix my own problems.
I prepared. I thought I was smart.
But this caught me off guard.
I should feel happy, but I don’t.
I should let it go, but I won’t.
This is my life, so where’s my say?
Is it wrong to not want to be okay?

Why can’t things be what they are?
Why can’t we just let the truth hurt?
What’s wrong with a few scars?
Why do we always need a cure?
What’s wrong with wanting a fragile life?
I just want to feel more than fine.

Everyone has moved on. Everybody is happy.
I’m the only one who’s still uneasy.
I was ready for the worst.
I was ready for the unsure.
I did what I was told.
And I’m left with this, I’m left with nothing,
The worst of all.
At least worse would be something.

Why can’t things be what they are?
Why can’t we just let the truth hurt?
What’s wrong with a few scars?
Why do we always need a cure?
What’s wrong with wanting a fragile life?
I just want to feel more than fine.

I don’t need to break,
But I’m not weak.
I’m just ready, ready for something.
I don’t need to break,
But I’m not weak.
I’m just ready, ready for anything.

Why can’t things be what they are?
Why can’t we just let the truth hurt?
What’s wrong with a few scars?
Why do we always need a cure?
What’s wrong with wanting a fragile life?
I just want to feel more than fine.

I want to go back, back to the beginning.
I’m ready for something…

~ AA (2014)

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